Articles

This article appeared in the Cerridwen Press Newsletter in April 2008

Truth really is stranger than fiction, and I'm living proof. The story of how I met my soul mate is so bizarre that most people don't believe it. So I fictionalized the story, taking out some of the most implausible parts, creating fun characters and new locations to write MAGICAL MAN LIST, a romantic comedy novel from Cerridwen Press. Here's what really happened.

I was newly divorced and so starved for attention after 19 years of a loveless marriage that I jumped at every, and I mean every, opportunity that passed my way. I was in my mid-40s and found myself dating 20-year-olds, which was great for the ego at first but very depressing when they couldn't relate to anything in my life. I actually had one guy who didnít know that Paul McCartney had a different band other than Wings!

There was this man who was a freelance graphic artist where I worked who would come in and practically beg me to go on a date with him. I couldn't stand this guy. He was old (my age), had long hair, a wild beard and a beer belly. He dressed like a hobo. But boy, was he persistent. He would come into my office cubicle, get on one knee and say things like, "When are you going to make me the happiest man in the world and go out with me?"

Oh brother. I just couldn't get rid of him so I hatched an evil plan. I decided to go out with him and be the biggest bitch I could be. I thought if I went out with him and acted all kinds of crazy it would scare him off. So we met at a dance bar where I proceeded to act indifferent, weird and just plan mean. After two hours I said I had to leave. He wanted to know if he could ask me out again.

I couldn't believe it. "Did you have a good time?" I asked, incredulous.

"No," he answered.

"Then why would you want to go out again?"

"Because it might be better the next time," he said, a smile on his face.

This guy just didn't get it. I told him he was too intense for me. He was in my face saying ridiculous things like how beautiful I was and stuff like that. Drove me nuts.

For the next two years, I continued to date all these totally wrong men for all the wrong reasons. In the meantime, this man kept popping his head into my cubicle to just say hi. If I heard him enter the building, I would duck down and run along the other side of the cubicles and hide in the bathroom until he was gone. This went on for TWO YEARS!

Finally one day I was complaining to a friend that I couldn't find anyone right for me and this friend suggested it was because I didn't know what I wanted. I realized she was right, so we got together one night, and sat in a hot tub with a bottle of wine and each wrote up a list of traits we wanted in the perfect man for each of us. By the time I was finished, I had 65 items on my list.

Then I decided that in order to make the list work, I needed a sacred ceremony to activate the list. So I drove to my favorite spot in the mountains and waited for a sign to show me where to bury my list. When a hawk flew across the road right in front of me and landed on a rock outcropping, I had my sign. I pulled over and climbed the rocks and found at the very top a small sandy spot among the rocks. There, I buried my list. Then I stood up, lifted my arms over my head and called to the universe, "Bring him to me!" Yes, I really did do that. See what I mean about truth being strange? Then I stopped dating and waited.

Three weeks later, I found a big, beautiful homegrown rose on my computer with a note: "Just wanted to brighten your day," signed Mr. Intense.

Now you probably know who left this rose but at the time, I hadn't a clue. It had been two years since the date from hell that I had concocted. Finally it hit me. I was able to get his e-mail address (he worked for my company as a freelancer, remember) and e-mailed a thank you. He e-mailed a lovely note back. This went on for a while and two weeks later I received another rose. More e-mails, more fabulous words—sweet and not "too-intense".

Having a copy of my list, I decided to do things differently this time. I put aside my first impressions and paid attention to what I had written on the list. I started dating this man very slowly. A date here, a date there, all the time checking off stuff I found out along the way. After three months, I had checked off 63 of the 65 items on my list. I was astonished. Here was my soul mate right in front of me. When he got down on one knee on the top of that outcropping and asked me to marry him six months later, of course I said yes!